But I am invisible, floating through an existence that does not exist. It is my own hell, imprisoned by my choices, there is no escaping my thoughts.
He loves me deeply, more then anyone can ever know, addicted masochist who nobody else can have. he consumes my soul, mind, and being. My one and only. They say once a demon claims you, you are forever tormented by oneself. The images that plays over and over are to remind you of the useless being you have become.
He was a boy that I met, I fell in love with blindly. I believed what I wanted, and lived in the moment. If you would’ve told me a year ago, this was the outcome I would not have trusted you. But this goes to show you, you cant believe everything you see. There was times where there were signs, that this was all just make believe. You create a fantasy world off the emotions and lust at first glance. Not knowing the universe has other plans. So you become attached to the vision, obsessed with it. I never trusted anyone like this, or cared for. I never met anyone who wanted to just see me smile. So I trusted him, I fell so in love with you. My dreams were finally coming true, everything I ever dreamed about. Its my turn I thought, its my happy ending finally… But life has a funny way of showing you something that will end in the complete opposite. Like its the karma that was waiting to catch up to you…
“I’m not in love with you”
Those words you beg God to never hear, to never feel, to never live through. You’ve seen movies about this, heard stories, but never contemplated hearing the tale of heartbreak from the one you love.
Now hear it comes, the emptiness, the insecurities, the black hole that fills up your heart. Lost once again, all your dreams and fantasies shattered to the core of the beginning. The questions the why’s, what if’s, how come. You drive yourself mad with blame and guilt and confusion. Don’t even know what emotions you feel.
but you still love him, even when they dont love you back.
so you pretend that your okay with the situation, that you can handle being his friend, because you cant picture your life without him, it hurts you to not be included and to be distant. So you lie and lay close, do whatever to be near him. But you break a little bit inside each time, you loose apart of yourself that you’ll never get back. you watch reality around you like it is a t.v. show being filmed live, a love that you crave, attention you seek.. but it is a love that is not yours.
You did this to yourself, creating your own personal hell from the choices you have made. You have to say goodbye, and forget about silly love tales.
Told you when a demon claims a soul, you will forever belong to him. and he loved me a way that no one else could, there’s no way i could be anyone else’s but his. he loves me so much, he showed me you. then he robbed me of my happiness and brought me back to hell with him. its a love i cant escape, its my fate. My own personal sick sad world.
and It was never real in the first place, and you’ve been day dreaming this whole time.
cherrynovels 